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How to let go of judgement about others?

(Building positive thinking)

Written by Rana Rayhan

References: www.powerpofpositivitycom

How to let go of judgement about others ?
Never Judge Someone without knowing the whole story. You may think you understand but you don't

How to let go of judgement and negative thoughts about others? This means to stop judge! We were bred to judge! That is a sad fact that has been there for decades. Unconsciously and intently we judge according to certain standards we built for our lives. Everyone and everything is subject to our measures of right and wrong, good and bad, pretty and ugly…etc. and the list goes on.  The worst part is that everything and everyone can be a victim of our judgment, including the weather, and no one is innocent from practicing it.
Given that harsh fact, what can we do about it? 
“Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest.”  ~Sri Chinmoy

How to release judgement? 

 The first key to releasing judgment, is realizing they are chains holding you to the ground and preventing you from one, living a rich and meaningful life, which is based on your true values, and  two establishing harmony in relationships. There is often a high price to pay for living in a mental and emotional place of judgement and fear. Just ask yourself if that cost is affordable and worthy.

The second key, is knowing that it is curable. We can let go of judgement in our lives, no matter how deeply it is rooted to our minds. From the perspective of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a mindfulness-based behavioral therapy, the mind is neither a “friend” nor an “enemy.” The mind is simply doing what minds do: producing thoughts. Therefore, the cure lies in redirecting our mindset and asking ourselves are these thoughts credible and based on facts or have we unleashed our wild imagination to turn those thoughts into beliefs? That simple practice will help us avoid unnecessary negativity and judgement that not only can result in losing good relationships with people we know, respect or love but would eventually hurt us repetitively thinking about it.

Now here are 4 effective ways to release judgment; they may not seem “easy” but are applicable if we train our minds to go for the positivity in everything:

1. Release your own judgment. 

Remember: Never Judge a person whose burdens you haven't carried, whose challenges you haven't faced, whose battles you haven't fought, whose path you haven't walked. Love them and pray for them instead. You don't know what it's like to be in their shoes. 
When you prematurely judge someone, you miss the opportunity to get to know who they are and what makes them unique.  You allow your limited perspective to cloud your vision from seeing the good in them. If they’re close to you, you miss the opportunity to love them more.

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken – Jean Jacques Rousseau 

Releasing judgement also means releasing judgement of yourself. We can tend to be our own worst critic. When we release judgement of ourselves, we allow for more room to love ourselves. Areas that we were seeking to find improvement can gradually get better because we have switched our focus to a positive loving perspective rather than a negative, critical one.

A day spent judging another is a painful day. A day spent judging yourself is a painful day. - Buddha

As you slowly begin to release judgment, you find you will experience less judgement from others.  Your vibration will be lifted and you will rise above. It doesn’t mean people aren’t doing it, but you won’t experience it in front of you.

2. Switch your focus to the positive. 

Remember: Problems may only be avoided by excersing good judgement. Good judgment may only be gained by experiencing life's problems. Jim Stovall 

Tip #1 is a gradual process and it’s something that doesn’t happen overnight. In the meantime, practicing to switch your focus to the good of others and the good of yourself works well.
Next time you find yourself being heavily judged and feeling down, switch your focus on everything you have achieved.  You have come a long way and have had great accomplishments. You are doing the best you can and you know that. In fact, the better you do the more nay-sayers there will be. So, by creating the habit to switch your focus and draw from that inner confidence will allow you to positively deal with judgment.

The highest spiritual practice is self-observation without judgment. – Swami Kripalu

 3. Don’t take personal offense. 

Remember: You can't change how people feel about you, so don't try. Just live your life and be happy.

If someone is being critical of you, remind yourself that their opinion is coming from their limited perspective. They aren’t you and they haven’t lived a day in your shoes. Therefore, their opinion truly doesn’t matter. In fact, sometimes when someone is (on some level) jealous of you, they will purposely try to pick you apart. It makes them feel better.
To let go of negative thoughts, learning not to take offense of judgement can be tough, especially if it’s coming from someone you love. You may feel like you have to take offense and reply on the defense to protect yourself. But, the better choice is just to shrug it off.
It takes strength to shrug it off. That strength comes from an inner confidence of knowing you do the best you can. If you find it hard to do, ask yourself if there is some truth (even a little) in what they are saying. Sometimes compassionate judgement can help us improve and grow.

If you judge people, you have no time to love them. - Mother Teresa

How to let go of negative thoughts about others

4. Leave the situation.

Remember: Leave people to their opinions and judgement, they cannot harm you, it is their understanding that is faulty, not yours.

So, if you have tried all of the above tips and you are still receiving destructive judgement (not compassionate, loving feedback) that you cannot handle it’s best to leave the situation and create limits in your relationship with that person.  Negative environments, especially with people you really care about, can quickly effect your personal happiness and self-growth. You need to thrive in this world and there are enough outside influences that we have to overcome. We need to surround ourselves with loving, positive people who care about our well being and think about our highest good.
Love is the absence of judgement – The Dalai Lama
Conclusion: People are going to judge you, but the best defense is knowing who you truly are, what you want and where you are going.
Maybe someday there will come a time when judgement no longer exists.  There’s a beautiful freedom in allowing each of us to be ourselves.  Together, let’s create a brighter future with compassion, and freedom for all without any judgement!

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